This Life

When I explain to new acquaintances about Joe’s job—how we will move to a new country every two or three years—the first question is predictable:

“Wow. Do you like that?” they ask. “Or is it hard to move every couple years?”

The answer is, on both counts: Yes.

So far, I love it.

Oh, the fun of moving our stuff over and over...

Yes, starting over so often is lonely, but already I’ve developed a worldwide network of close friends, the kind who make it easy to pick up where we left off. Yes, Seoul was hard, but more for Luca’s health issues than anything related to our location, and we got to eat all the Korean food we could desire while getting to know Joe’s relatives. Yes, the transience between tours was challenging, but we got to spend a ton of time with family and stateside friends.

Yes, the pollution is gross at times in Hong Kong, but the skyline is always gorgeous, the city is fun and people here are welcoming. Yes, the weather is sometimes too hot and humid to enjoy the outdoors, but our building has a swimming pool and an amazing indoor playroom.

Gorgeous Hong Kong

You know what else is cool? The change.

In Korea, we relished our yard. We had a fire pit, a flourishing vegetable and herb garden and space to make snowmen in winter. But the houses weren’t well insulated, so the heating and air was always blasting away with the volume of a jet engine. Pollution, heat, cold or rain rushed into our living area each time we opened a door or window. We had to mow the lawn and rake the leaves (though Luca and I made the latter chore pretty fun).

In Hong Kong, our building has all kinds of amenities and activities planned for us. We have no yard to bother about. Up in our high rise, we are insulated from the heat, (minor) cold and pollution. But the herbs we try to grow in the windowsill are anemic and pale. There’s no lawn on which Luca can run through sprinklers or explore dirt and rocks. I fear one of us could fall out our window (thank God we don’t have a balcony) or off the side of the podium level, where all the kids in our building ride scooters or bicycles. I realize the fear is irrational since we’d have to make quite an effort to get over the side wall or break a window, but still, the image plays in my mind every time I’m walking near the edge. What if…

There are major benefits and minor drawbacks of both types of living arrangements—of all types of living arrangements, really, but the amazing thing is that none of it is permanent for us. I enjoyed duplex living in Seoul, and I was relieved to make the move to Hong Kong. I’m enjoying high rise living for now, but I’ll be relieved to make the switch to whatever kind of housing will come at our next post. And so on. I can appreciate the good without feeling stuck with the bad.

My curious, restless personality thrives on the certainty of major change.

But there’s one thing that gives me pause. It’s not a regret, just a little twinge.

The thirst for variety and discovery, which makes me appreciate this lifestyle, is also what made me appreciate the budding career as a reporter I left behind.

It was the first job that truly fit my passion and gifting. When I taught in Malawi, I quickly discovered classroom management wasn’t my thing, and I wouldn’t want to continue past my year commitment. When I worked at a bank, I knew it was temporary since, even as I climbed the ladder to run my own tiny little branch, a focus on money wasn’t my thing. I was sad to discover there wasn’t a real career path for me at the nonprofit International Justice Mission since administration wasn’t my thing.

While politics wasn’t necessarily my thing, learning about the political game and other related topics certainly was. Writing what I’d learned certainly was. Chatting up political figures, experts, pollsters and others on the phone, on the street and at DC events certainly was. Of course there were frustrations, but I was having so much fun doing something I loved and something I was good at.

Luca visiting US News last summer

I had no trace of regret when I left my job to follow Joe to Seoul. I was proud of what I’d already accomplished at US News. I was pregnant, ready for adventure and unsure if we’d be able to afford childcare in DC with my salary, anyway (not much money in journalism). I thought I might freelance for my previous employer, but I never did, which was truly an opportunity missed since I was in Seoul during a major visit by President Obama and in Hong Kong during the Occupy Central protests. I simply got distracted with learning Korean, making friends, exploring Seoul and then Hong Kong, discovering culture, giving birth and raising children.

Now, three-and-a-half years later, my resume is stagnant. I’ve been writing and editing here and there, officially and unofficially, but nothing to fill the yawning hole in my work experience, and no plan in the near future to attempt to do so.

Actually, I don’t even feel all that bad about it—that’s not what gives me the twinge.

What does is that while I’ve been gallivanting around the world (with great joy), friends who started about the same time I did at US News are moving up to do what they hoped to back when we first met. One is now at NPR, which was a dream employer of mine, and another frequently appears on major TV networks like Fox News and MSNBC to share insight from her political reporting. Obviously my interests and job duties were different from those of my friends, but I wonder what would have happened had I stayed. Their lives are a glimpse into what could have been. Maybe I would’ve gotten laid off when US News trimmed down staff. Maybe I would’ve been promoted or moved on to other ventures, as my friends did.

In another life, I would’ve begun reporting earlier. I would’ve started with an internship at my tiny hometown newspaper, as my mom suggested when I was a teen, so I could have enjoyed journalism before the Internet took a bludgeoning club to the industry. So I could have had more of a consistent career in my 20s before starting a family and choosing to stay home with my brood for awhile. Then, I would have had something more established to return to once kids are in school.

But then, I never would have met Joe. I probably wouldn’t be living the expat life I enjoy. I wouldn’t be the same person with the same life, and honestly, I’m really happy with my life as it is. I’m happy I don’t have to work if I don’t want to. I love my husband and my children, and I’m having fun doing all the same mom duties I would probably be doing anywhere in the world.

Sweet Damien

I’m content strapping Damien in the Ergo for a peaceful afternoon nap while we accompany Luca to the playroom. I’m happy riding the MTR and running through a downpour with Joe for an anniversary date across Victoria Harbor. I like that, because we are able to have a helper here, I can leave during Damien’s long morning nap to take Luca to fun music classes or, on a weekend when Joe is with Luca, sit solo at Starbucks and type out my thoughts. I’m thrilled that I get to teach my boys about the world with first-hand experiences. And when Luca is frustrated and rushes into my arms for a comforting cuddle, I melt. And when Damien's eyes light up at the sight of my face and his mouth breaks into a toothless, dimpled grin, I melt.

All that is not doing much for my resume, but it’s more than enough, for now. And, God willing, I’ve got plenty of good years ahead of me.